Smartphones & Presence

After being off social media for about 2-3 years and only posting once in a blue moon with big news or a glimpse of beauty, I got back on Instagram, with the discipline of only checking/posting 1-2x a day. I did this for about 9 months, and, just recently, the day before Lent, I took the apps back off of my phone. While I don’t have regrets about this experiment (because I felt called to share what I shared), I came to the conclusion that it absolutely is not worth it to be on social media. I’m excited to be done with that project, and to get back to my life without it. It changed my brain! The research and the studies have been done, and it is very true: social media (and the internet in our pockets) is a problem.

I read an article recently about our brains being oriented, naturally, towards building/telling stories - narratives- as a way of making sense of our world. With the distraction- ridden scrolling and video shorts out there, we can’t really focus on the stories of our lives because they’re dotted with too many completely random big news or moments in the “feed” space: a wedding photo there, new baby there, a death there. Big life moments worth noting! But also moments SO big, that it’s impossible for us to, in a fully present, human way, take in within just a few seconds. Even if we’re not vegging out watching or consuming soul-deadening “candy” in our feeds, it is too much. We can’t organically write healthy stories in our heads as we go about our days if we are distracted by others’ stories. It leaves us feeling emotionally exhausted. Even if our feeds are saturated with immense beauty and inspiration, it still takes us out of our reality and into a digital space that isn’t the true, meaningful reality before us. Be it hard and perhaps even unfaceable, or be it overflowing joy without number, it is still our own reality, and that deserves our attention and reverence. I don’t know about you, but I want to live deeply - and in the moment.

Back in the day when Blackberries and the first iPhones came out, none of us now-middle-aged people used to think it was a big deal. We just thought- aha! Easier way to check email. Attractive apps. As a mom, it was brilliant! Now I could check my email and nurse a baby at the same time. For artists, it was a feast for the eyes to have windows into other art spaces: visually stimulating and inspiring in a positive way! And Instagram- Oh, this was perfect for us: it was all pictures and beauty- with captions for the written part-! What fun. And it was SO beautiful that we swooned- and got addicted as we went there every day… entering into a reality that wasn’t actually ours. And like frogs unaware in the heating pot of water, we got closer and closer to death by boiling (forgive the gruesome analogy) as we went deeper and deeper into an addictive space. And we started writing less and less letters, and even emails, because we had Facebook now! Now we could check up on a friend whenever we wanted to, instead of patiently waiting for that joyful day when we would see a letter from a dear old friend in our mailboxes at the road. Whatever your loves and weaknesses are - Ffern perfume, Spako Clay, or Abigail Halpin (those are mine), it isn’t worth being in the “feed” or the overstimulating media zone every day. Make the beauty you desire. Live the beautiful life you yearn for.

I really thought that, as with almost everything in life, I could practice moderation and be okay. But we are not okay. Marriages have suffered. Brains have suffered. Focus has suffered. And sadly, we all had to learn the hard way! My brain suffers and I am more distracted.

We are so fragmented with having the internet on our phones. Here we are, with the “internet in our pockets”, trying to answer not just phone calls but texts and emails, while at a traffic light or waiting in line. We’re running around doing ten million things at once. I practice much restraint with my iPhone, putting it into another room while I do laundry and dishes, or into Do Not Disturb mode when I’m writing, or reading- and even I, with that kind of 43-year-old discipline, feel like my brain is different from having had social media engagement just once or twice a day. I want it back! I want to restore my mind. The year I turned 40, I wasn’t on social media. I was hands-on most of the day (studio, garden, mothering, kitchen), and was living life mostly unplugged from the internet except for email or necessary, edifying internet use - like ordering shoes or looking up the natural food co op in a foreign town. I was deeply happy, more present, and not as distracted; I want that peace back.

By backing away from social media, and screens in general, I think we can again find deep meaning and purpose in the hands-on parts of our days. These, paired with a sharp, clear, contemplative mind, offer a backbone to our humanity. So no thanks, social media. I’ll go back to posting news to share when I have news to share. (Once in a blue moon.) And for my insatiable desire for clay and paper inspiration, I’ll be on my curated Pinterest boards.

I believe that it is more important than ever to unplug and connect with each other, and with ourselves, preserving the human soul. All day long we have invitations into living and loving so deeply. With cameras in our pockets, instead of diving into deep mothering moments, or into the thrill of watching sea lions swim or the wonder of birds flying overhead, we pull out our phones to take a video. That kind of moment could have been cherished and kept close to our hearts forever- but instead they are interrupted with, and by, a phone-in-hand. Again. For the fifth (or fiftieth) time that day. And for what? Just to share on an Instagram story or send to our family? Even if the intentions behind our actions are good and could be enjoyed by other people, it’s still a distraction from the precious moments-at-hand, all of which are invitations into encounters with other human souls and hearts, and into living and loving more deeply.